Ever feel like you’re standing in your own way?

Like you know your negative self-talk is making things worse, but you can’t seem to get over it and move on? Ha, I know I do!

9 times out of 10, it’s not cuz of a lack of talent or effort, but rather cuz of the invisible influence of our negative thinking patterns…

These thinking patterns, deeply ingrained in our psyche and beliefs, can wreak havoc on our aspirations, leaving us feeling super stuck and frustrated.

“The darkness, the loop of negative thoughts on repeat, clamours and interferes with the music in my head.” – Lady Gaga

That’s why this blog will identify and overcome 10 negative thinking patterns that prevent goal achievement. Why? Cuz negative thinking patterns can honestly stand between you and your dreams.

So from the all-or-nothing thinking mindset to the mind reading habit and even mental filtering tendencies, I’ll shine a light on these common negative thinking patterns and arm you with the tools to shift your self-talk and hit your goals.

Now I just want to say that I have personally applied all of the tricks I’m about to share with you to rewrite my own story, one positive thought at a time – and you can do the same, too.

I’m about to throw a good amount of info at you, so to really soak it all up be sure to download the FREE GUIDE so you can refer to the tips and tricks later on! Simply click the button below, enter your info, then check your inbox!

WHAT IS A NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERN?

Before we start shifting these thinking patterns, let’s actually define what they are first!

A negative thinking pattern, also known as a cognitive distortion, is a habitual and irrational way of interpreting events, situations, or oneself in a negative light.

Now these patterns often involve biased perceptions of reality that lead to negative emotions, behaviors, and outcomes. Negative thinking patterns can be really pervasive and ingrained, negatively influencing how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world around us.

These patterns can also manifest in various life domains, from personal relationships and work to self-esteem and goal achievement.

“The greatest pollution problem we face today is negativity.” – Mary Kay Ash

Recognizing and challenging negative thinking patterns is crucial for maintaining mental well-being and fostering a more positive and resilient mindset – especially when you’re feeling stuck. By becoming aware of these harmful patterns and implementing strategies to counteract them, you can cultivate a more balanced and constructive approach to your thoughts, self-talk, and behaviors.

And that’s what the rest of this blog is about!

Next, we’re going to dive into the 10 most common negative thinking patterns that prevent goal achievement (and honestly so much more). I’ll talk about each one individually since the strategies to overcome each slightly differ.

10 NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS: EXAMPLES & WHAT TO DO

So let’s just dive right in, shall we? The 10 most common negative thinking patterns are:

1. All-or-nothing thinking
2. Catastrophizing
3. Discounting the positive
4. Overgeneralization
5. Mind reading
6. Emotional reasoning
7. Personalization
8. Should statements
9. Labeling
10. Mental filtering

Now, of course, there’s plenty more negative thinking patterns out there. But these are the ones that most people face on a daily basis.

For instance, I constantly have to work on discounting the positive, emotional reasoning, and should statements (constantly meaning basically every day!)

Reason I’m sharing is to say that you won’t shift out of a negative pattern overnight. It’s called a pattern for a reason! It’s a habit, and just like any other habit, it takes time and dedication to change it.

But it IS super possible to change, and feels oh so good when you start to notice the benefits!

“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE.” – Audrey Hepburn

So with that said, let’s talk about each negative thinking pattern. Below I explain, give examples of, and offer tips to overcome all 10.

And don’t forget that you can save all of the steps and tricks for later! Just click that button below, enter your info, then check your email for the FREE GUIDE!

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING

When I started working out again, I used to think that I had to do at least 30 minutes of intense exercise or I may as well not even try.

That’s really the essence of all-or-nothing thinking.

This common negative thinking pattern convinces us that success is an all encompassing state of perfection, with no room for imperfection or progress.

All-or-nothing thinking is the belief that if we can’t achieve something perfectly, then we’ve failed entirely (even before we tried).

Let’s stick with my example above. Imagine striving for a personal goal like improving your fitness.

“If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.” – Geena Davis

All-or-nothing thinking might lead you to set unrealistic expectations, which leads you to expect flawless execution from the get-go. This also prevents you from creating SMART goals (remember: the “r” stands for realistic!)

But the reality is, progress is never linear, and setbacks are inevitable.

So once you stray off course or come face-to-face with a setback, all-or-nothing thinking leads you to give up since you can’t do it perfectly. You convince yourself that it’s perfect, or it’s nothing.

Here’s the mindset shift you gotta make:

Instead of viewing success as a perfect ending, consider the process to get there a journey of continuous improvement and growth. Embrace the concept of progress over perfection. How? By being proud of each win along the way.

Turn every step forward into a celebration. Make progress fun again!

Trust me when I say that when you can shift your mindset away from all-or-nothing thinking and towards one of incremental progress, you’ll free yourself from the paralyzing grip of perfectionism and open the door to amazing new possibilities.

CATASTROPHIZING

How often do you think of the worst case scenario? Maybe you ask yourself questions like:

• “What if I’m not good?”
• “What if I embarrass myself?”
• “What if I don’t get any likes or comments?”
• “What if I can’t?”

All of these negative what if’s lead to obsessing over the worst possible outcome, which is basically what catastrophizing is.

Catastrophizing is a common negative thinking pattern that leads us down a rabbit hole of anxiety and despair, convincing us that one small setback will inevitably lead to total disaster.

Picture this: you receive a less-than-stellar performance review from a client. Instead of viewing it as constructive feedback and an opportunity for growth, catastrophizing takes hold, convincing you that this single review spells the end of your career. You imagine yourself clientless, jobless, penniless, and living in a cardboard box under a bridge.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.” – Proverb

Okay dramatic, I know, but if we’re honest we’ve all had dramatic thoughts like these. Catastrophizing leads us to think of terrifying situations that would most likely never happen, yet we’re almost sure it’s the only possibility.

The truth is, catastrophizing blows problems out of proportion, distorting reality and clouding our judgement. It blinds us to alternative, more realistic outcomes and robs us of the resilience needed to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.

So here’s the mindset shift to make:

It starts with challenging catastrophic thoughts and reframing them with a dose of reality.

Rather than dwelling on worst case scenarios, ask yourself if those outcomes are even likely or realistic. Fact check yourself. Are you just stating self-limiting beliefs and mean opinions over and over again to yourself?

Then stop asking those negative “what if” questions and start asking positive “what ifs” instead:

• “What if I’m better than I realize?”
• “What if I prove myself?”
• “What if I go viral?”
• “What if I love it?”

Visualize this best case scenario instead and focus on problem solving. Ask yourself how you can make this best case scenario your reality, then act on it.

Don’t allow the worst case and unlikely scenario take your power away.

Here’s your reminder to save these tricks for later! All you gotta do is click that button below, enter your info, then check your email to download the FREE GUIDE that has all of this info so you can refer to it in times of need.

DISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE

At the beginning of 2024, I was in a panel at a conference. I received really good feedback from the attendees and those who hosted, but for a while all I could focus on was the fact that I lost my suitcase and was still wearing my outfit from the airplane.

And that it what discounting the positive looks like.

Discounting the positive is like wearing blinders that only allow you to see the negatives in any situation. It’s a negative thinking pattern that downplays or completely ignores the positive aspects of an experience while magnifying the negatives.

“You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what’s important in your life.” – Anais Nin

Even when you get praise, you don’t bask in the glow of the accomplishment. Instead, you dwell on the one minor flaw or critique.

Discounting the positive robs you of the joy and satisfaction that should come with your achievements, leaving you feeling perpetually unfulfilled.

So here’s how to shift your mindset:

Cultivate a practice of gratitude and self-affirmation. Take time each and every day to acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small they may seem.

(By the way, if you want a FREE Daily Gratitude one pager, then definitely click that link above! It’ll take you to my blog about being grateful and has a button for you to download that PDF!)

But why gratitude?

Cuz consciously shifting your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life will train your brain to have a more positive outlook and to build resilience against the corrosive effects of discounting the positive.

Remember, every success, no matter how modest, is a testament to your strength and resilience. Don’t let discounting the positive diminish your achievements or overshadow your potential for greatness.

OVERGENERALIZATION

As I pitch myself to speak about productivity at more conferences and events, I have been getting a lot of no’s.

Now at first I took these rejections personally. I saw one “no” after another, and started to think that I’m not worthy of any speaking gig and that I’ll never find consistency.

Overgeneralizing magnified the impact of a single rejection, distorted my perception of my reality, and undermined my confidence and resilience. It literally almost prevented me from pursuing a speaking career altogether.

So overgeneralization is the tendency to draw broad, sweeping conclusions based on limited evidence or a single negative experience. It’s like painting an entire canvas of your life yet only painting the scene of one setback or failure.

“The way you tell your story to yourself matters.” – Amy Cuddy

Have you ever faced a challenge, encountered a setback, or experienced rejection, only to convince yourself that it’s a sign of permanent failure or inadequacy?

Join the club!

After chatting with my therapist and doing some reflection, I realized that a rejection is just one conference’s decision based on a specific criteria and unique circumstances. Just cuz I get one “no,” doesn’t mean that I will always get a “no.”

So what mindset shift can you make?

Practice looking at your situation in another perspective. Challenge the notion that one negative experience defines your worth or potential. Recognize that setbacks are a part of the human experience and do NOT dictate your future outcomes.

Okay but how do you actually do that?

Seek out counterexamples to disprove the overgeneralization. Recall past successes, moments of resilience, and instances where you’ve overcome your challenges.

For example, remember when I participated in a panel in my airport clothes cuz my suitcase was lost? Well, I still got incredible feedback and performed really well, proving to myself that I can create a successful speaking career.

So by broadening your perspective and recognizing life’s complexities, you’ll weaken overgeneralization’s hold over you while also empowering yourself to navigate setbacks with grace.

You know, there’s a lot of great tips and mindset shifts in this blog, so I don’t want you to forget about them. So click that button below, enter your info, then check your email to download the FREE GUIDE so you can keep this info for later!

MIND READING

I’ve been trying to network a lot more lately and just striking up conversations with people like me. At first, if I noticed a subtle change in their expression or body language, heard a sigh, or they weren’t looking at the camera (aka making digital eye contact), then I became convinced that they found me boring or uninteresting.

Even without any concrete evidence to support my assumption, I fell victim to the mind reading trap.

Can you relate?

Mind reading is a negative thinking pattern that leads us to believe we can accurately discern the thoughts and intentions of others without any proof. It’s like playing detective without the necessary clues, jumping to conclusions based on assumptions rather than facts.

So here’s the mindset shift you gotta make:

Remember that everyone has their own internal world, shaped by their own experiences, beliefs, and emotions. So it’s IMPOSSIBLE to truly know what someone else is thinking without direct communication.

Which means you gotta challenge your assumptions and seek clarification and evidence through open communication.

Aka, instead of relying on mind reading to decipher other’s thoughts and feelings, just ask!

“Sometimes our bad feelings are only assumptions and speculations doing dark dances in our heads.” – Bonnie Lynn Smith

Ask clarifying questions to gain a better understanding of their perspective. Practice active listening and reiterating what they shared back to them in your own words to really make sure you get them.

Doing so will help you cultivate a habit of curiosity and open-mindedness, will allow you to embrace genuine connection and mutual understanding, and will make your interactions more enriched and fulfilling.

EMOTIONAL REASONING

For the longest time I was always nervous to post on social media. I convinced myself that people wouldn’t like my content or would judge me for not wearing makeup or whatever the case was.

Cuz I was so nervous, I never posted, which means that I delayed in creating a following and an audience. Which, at the end of the day, delayed my business.

And that is the ripple effect emotional reasoning can have.

Emotional reasoning is the tendency to let our emotions dictate our beliefs and actions, blurring the lines between feelings and facts.

“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” Tara Meyer Robinson

It’s really too easy to put on emotionally tinted glasses and view the world through the lens of our current emotional state.

For instance, have you ever dreaded doing a task so you procrastinated? Or maybe you didn’t feel like getting out of bed yet so you hit the snooze button. I know there’s been times when I truly thought I knew what the other person would say or how they’d react, so I just assumed without confirming it with them.

Point is: we all do it. But when your emotions take the driver’s seat, they can steer you away from rational analysis and constructive problem-solving.

So what kind of mindset shift can you make?

First it’s crucial to acknowledge and validate your emotions. Don’t ignore or belittle them, but tell yourself that it’s okay that you feel this way.

Second, maintain a level of objectivity. Separate the intensity of your feelings from the facts of the situation.

Ask yourself, “Is there evidence that supports this opinion and/or emotion?” And I mean real, can actually prove it, kind of evidence – not just more opinions!

Usually, we’ll end up answering no and end up finding a lot more facts that contradicts our self-limiting beliefs and negative emotions. And those are the facts that you want to stick to.

By looking for concrete evidence to support or contradict negative emotions, you create some distance between you and the emotions. You empower yourself to make decisions based on a more balanced a rational understanding of your situation.

Additionally, you can also look at your situation from another perspective by asking friends, mentors, or colleagues. They can provide valuable insights untainted by the emotional filter clouding your judgement.

Remember, emotions are valid and essential, but they should compliment – not dictate – your decision-making process.

Which is just another good reason you should download the FREE GUIDE and save these tricks for later on! Simply click that button below, enter your info, then check your email!

PERSONALIZATION

I have 3 little siblings (ages 11 and twins who are 9) who I babysit at least once a week to helping my working dad and step-mom out. Sometimes my parents ask me to switch up the time I go over, and sometimes I can’t make it happen. Whenever I can’t, I always feel so so guilty – even if my parents asked me day of.

But that’s just personalization. I have to remind myself that my parents switching up the timing is out of my control. That my siblings are not my kids, and I’m not the one who is responsible of their schedule.

So personalization is a negative thinking pattern that involves taking personal responsibility for outcomes or events that are beyond your control.

“Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.” – Anonymous

It’s like carrying an unnecessary burden, shouldering blame for circumstances that are often influences by various factors outside of your realm of influence.

Have you ever found yourself taking blame for something that was not directly caused by your actions? Yeah…me, too.

Personalization can lead you to ignore the unforeseen factors at play. Instead, you might internalize the failure and start to believe that you were solely responsible for it all. This self-blame only erodes your self-confidence and self-esteem, hindering your ability to move forward from the learning experience.

Here’s the mindset shift I recommend:

Playing the self-blame game comes out of a fixed mindset, which is the belief that you are who you are and you cannot change. But we both know you can change (that’s why you’re reading this blog!)

So work on shifting into a growth mindset: view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow rather than as personal failures. Embrace the notion that mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of life and they provide valuable lessons that’ll guide you to success.

It’s also so so important to practice self-compassion. Acknowledge the complexities of your situation, external influences, and whatever is out of your control.

Then challenge the assumption that you’re to blame and explore alternative explanations for the outcome. Ask yourself, “What factors outside of my control contributed?”

Don’t ever forget that you’re not defined by the outcomes of individual events, but by how you choose to respond and grow from them.

SHOULD STATEMENTS

As an entrepreneur, I have some pretty big goals for myself like reaching a certain income level and maintaining my desired work-life balance.

And boy I’ve had to work on my should statements!

I constantly catch myself saying that I “should” be doing this, “should” be doing that, “should not” be feeling this, or “should not” be behind in that.

For the longest time I always felt like I wasn’t good enough, like I could never hit my own standards, and like a fraud for wanting to coach others.

I believed that any deviation from my expectations was unacceptable, breeding feelings of guilt and inadequacy whenever I inevitably fell short.

“You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you.” – Lisa Kleypas

Should statements are rigid and unrealistic expectations we impose on ourselves or others, based on arbitrary beliefs about how things “should” be. It’s as if we’re holding ourselves to an unattainable standard, constantly berating ourselves for falling short of these unrealistic ideals.

How often do you find yourself saying, “I should” or “I must”?

Do you notice that self-imposing this kind of pressure only leads to feeling undermined, less confident, and like you’ve failed?

So here’s the mindset shift I’m personally working on every single day:

Challenge these rigid beliefs and replace them with more flexible and empowering self-talk.

Instead of saying, “I should be further along in my career by now,” reframe it as, “I’m making progress at my own pace, and that’s okay.”

Replace the self-criticism for self-compassion, and create more room for self-acceptance and growth.

Secondly, practice setting more achievable goals that align with your values and priorities. Break larger goals down into smaller action steps and celebrate your progress along the way.

Remember that perfection is an illusion, and it’s okay to embrace imperfection as a natural part of the human experience. I have to remind myself of this all of the time!

I also have to remind myself of these negative thinking patterns and how to overcome them. Which is why I created a FREE GUIDE so you can do the same! Just click the button below, enter your info, and check your email to download the PDF!

LABELING

Growing up my parents and teachers always told me that it was okay to “just not be a math person.”

So I started thinking of myself as bad at math, telling myself and others that “numbers are not my friend.”

When I started having to budget, pay taxes, and track data, it felt almost impossible. Since I just wasn’t a math person, I didn’t even try at first. And now I have some debt that I’m working every single day to get out of.

That’s how harmful labels can be!

“Do not bend yourself to make others feel taller. When someone comes at you telling you what you are and slapping a label on you, simply ask them why. ‘Why would you say that?’ Make THEM think.” – Rose McGowan

Labeling is when we define ourselves or others based on a single characteristic or event, oversimplifying complex identities into narrow categories.

Problem is, labeling might lead you to internalize negative feedback or a bad scenario as a reflection of your entire identity. You give your power away by overlooking the countless prior successes and strengths that actually define you.

Ever found yourself using labels such as “lazy,” “dumb” or “failure” to describe yourself? Ever catch yourself judging other people for one thing?

A little too often, right?

So here’s the mindset shift to make:

Break the habit of reducing yourself and others to a single characteristic or event. Remind yourself that humans are complex, and recognize that each person is comprised of a multitude of traits, experiences, and potential.

Especially refrain from using harsh labels that only serve to undermine self-esteem and perpetuate negative perceptions.

Instead, focus on cultivating a growth mindset, like I talked about above. Don’t forget that the capacity for change and development IS within both yourself and others.

Replace limiting labels with affirming statements that reflect your worth and potential for growth. Embrace the diversity that makes our world vibrant.

And remember, you are more than any single label could ever define.

MENTAL FILTERING

When things are not going to plan, I can easily start looking at all of the lack of abundance rather than focus on all of the abundance that’s around me.

And that pretty much sums mental filtering up.

Mental filtering is a negative thinking pattern that involves focusing on one aspect of a situation while ignoring or discounting all other relevant information. It’s super similar to discounting the positive, but has a bit broader of an application.

“I was single-minded and I had tunnel vision. Now it’s time for a change.” – Evelyn Ashford

It’s more like viewing the world through a narrow lens, fixating on the details that only serve your current story. I think we see this a lot in politics…

Mental filtering may cause you to hone in on a single detail or flaw, allowing it to dominate your thoughts and overshadow any other narrative. As a result, you may be left feeling angry, ignorant, disheartened, or undervalued, despite other evidence.

So what’s the mindset shift?

First, instead of fixating on certain parts of the story, consciously seek out and acknowledge the other perspectives in every situation.

This means training yourself to broaden your focus, to take into account all aspects of a situation rather than honing in on a single detail.

Okay, but how do you do that?

Practice reframing your perspective. When thinking negatively, switch it up and practice gratitude or appreciation. Challenge yourself to identify and celebrate each success, no matter how small, and recognize the progress you’ve made along the way.

By consciously redirecting your attention to the positives, you’ll cultivate a more optimistic attitude and build resilience against mental filtering.

OVERCOME THESE NEGATIVE THINKING PATTERNS

When trying to shift habitual ways of thinking, sometimes reading a blog just doesn’t cut it.

So if you’re looking for a bit more guidance, more tools, and more support, then it’s time to check out my online course “How to Get Unstuck & Move Forward.”

Not only do I dive into all ten of these negative thinking patterns in the first module, but I give you 3 concrete steps, 7 strategies, and more than a dozen tools to shift into a growth mindset and move forward towards your goals.

Cuz let’s be real: most of the time, we’re the ones in our own way.

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.” – Anonymous

Which is why I created this course. To catch yourself when you’re bringing yourself down, and to always be able to bring yourself back up.

Plus, I started a community (called the Moving Forward Community) for all course takers to share insights, ask for personal advice, cheer each other on, and more. Not to mention that the community is FREE to join! So definitely check it out!

Also check out the FREE GUIDE that has all of this blog’s tips and tricks so you can continue boosting your awareness and shifting your mindset. All you gotta do is click that button below, enter your info, then check your inbox!

CONCLUSION

Throughout this blog, we’ve explored the ten most common negative thinking patterns that can hinder your progress and diminish your sense of fulfillment.

From all-or-nothing thinking to mental filtering, each pattern presents its own unique challenges, but armed with awareness and actionable strategies, you’re more than capable of rising above them.

As you apply what you learned, remember that mastering your mindset is an ongoing, lifetime process – one that needs patience, persistence, and self-compassion.

You’ve learned to challenge your automatic thoughts, separate facts from opinions, and take proactive steps towards personal growth and goal achievement.

And you can take your personal growth even further by enrolling in my online course “How to Get Unstuck & Move Forward“!

Lastly, I leave you with this: you are the architect of your own future. Harness the power of your thoughts and beliefs to create a life filled with passion, purpose, and happiness. Keep moving forward with courage and conviction, knowing that the path to success is paved with resilience, determination, and an unwavering belief in yourself.